dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
