i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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