either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Randomize
