she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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