If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have fence marks all over my body
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
