I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
