I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
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then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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