do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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