In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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