We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize