you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
