Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So vagazzling was a success
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
