Your tits are I can't wait for
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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