Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
