Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I will be naked everywhere
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If I die, sorry about rent.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
