Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Randomize
