U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
