I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
