no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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