She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
