2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
