it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
