Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
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My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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