Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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