so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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