it hurts more in the daytime
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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