your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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