Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
