i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is the high leading the old right now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
