ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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