Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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