I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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