Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
