reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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