I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
