We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
