um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And then my night got REAL pukey
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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