i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
