I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
