on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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