Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
