I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
