that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize
