I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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