I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize