I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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