He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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