I want to make a zoo with you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Randomize
