Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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