just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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