the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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