90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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