About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
why do cheetos always look like penises
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today